


This Could Be

by rosydoky



Series: svt oneshots [7]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, Lee Seokmin | DK-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Boo Seungkwan/Choi Hansol | Vernon, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Polyamory, dk is absolutely whipped and in lov, hewwo, i guess idk???, jeonghan and joshua love dk so much he didnt even realize it, theyre just trying to figure stuff out!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 09:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14998142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosydoky/pseuds/rosydoky
Summary: Seokmin isn't sure who he's more infatuated with: Jeonghan or Joshua. It doesn't help that both of them are in a committed relationship, and it really doesn't help that they're in a committed relationship together.OR: figuring out polyamory isn't always easy!





	This Could Be

**Author's Note:**

> hi im very nervous about this and i hope i portrayed polyamorous relationships in a way that is true to how they work! also i think im the first person to write these three together on ao3 so. wig.

He’s staring, he’s painfully aware of that. Even more so, he’s aware that he _shouldn't_ be staring. But he can’t seem to move his eyes from the two people harnessing his attention. Not when they’re hanging all over each other, creating a beautiful mess of gentle smiles and cuddly cardigans that make them look softer than he knows them to be.

Seokmin loves being in the vocal unit, and he’s thankful everyday that he’s apart of their close knit family. He sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like if he had been put in another unit, he was pretty good at rapping, could probably offer some interesting texture to their sound with his unique high pitched style. He was also good at dancing, hell, he majored in dance during high school, he could have very well put in some long hours in the studio to be in performance unit.

But, by nature, he was a singer. Which landed him in the vocal unit.

Most of the time, he’s thankful for this. Seungkwan (along with Soonyoung) was the partner in crime he had always been missing. Jihoon may have acted tough and reserved on the outside, but was actually a huge softy with an especially soft spot for Seokmin, considering he was one of the only members who never said no to his midnight food adventures.

And then there was _them_ , Joshua and Jeonghan.

Jeonghan has always been someone he looked up to, someone he admired greatly, despite how playful and devious he seemed, he was always kind hearted and genuine with Seokmin. Jeonghan was patient and attentive, intune with his emotions and open to vulnerability, something Seokmin still struggled with from time to time, despite appearing to be a completely open book. He had always been one to shut down when he was upset, notorious for pouting rather than explaining why he was feeling the way he was, and Jeonghan was the only one who could get anything out of him. Gentle fingers running through hair, soft yet gravely voice barely above a whisper, asking him to open up. How was he supposed to _not_ bare his soul to him?

And Joshua, Joshua was someone who made Seokmin feel alive. Of course he had fun with Seungkwan and Soonyoung, they were like three peas in a pod, working as one well oiled, obnoxious, machine. But something about Joshua had always been interesting to him, he was playful in a mysterious way, calculated and always thinking about his next move. After years of spending time with him, Seokmin had even learned the exact face he made when he was plotting something. A quirk of the lips and a glance towards Jeonghan, beckoning him to come over so he could whisper whatever plan he had brewing into his ear. He wishes to himself that Joshua would lean into him, leave the ghost of his breath behind on his ear as he whispers his next plot to prank Seungcheol.

Of course, they were both ridiculously attractive, on top of all of that, both of them baring stark differences from Seokmin. They both looked so angelic always and he wondered how the two most mischievous members could look so absolutely heaven sent. It didn’t help that they had a _thing_ going on, leaving twists of confusion mixed with jealousy in the pit of Seokmin’s stomach. He couldn’t decide which one he wanted to be, he was completely, utterly, infatuated with both of them.

“You’re staring again,” Seungkwan sighs from beside him, not looking up from his phone.

“Shut up,” Seokmin grumbles, closing his eyes because really, that’s the only thing he can do. He knows if he opens them they’ll just find their way back to them, it’s an endless, frustrating, loop.

“You’re pitiful,” Seungkwan says, and Seokmin can just hear the teasing smile dripping from his voice, “which one is it, anyways?”

“I don’t know,” Seokmin groans, covering his face with his hands, taking in a deep breath as he tries to center himself. He hasn’t had anything to drink and he feels like the world is spinning, and for a moment he has the cheesiest thought ever, _can you get drunk on people?_

Seungkwan just hums, throwing an arm around his shoulder to show quiet support, “whatever you do, don’t be a homewrecker. Our comeback is soon and we don’t need the drama.”

 

The next day, after practice, Jeonghan asks him to accompany him to the park.

This strikes Seokmin as an odd gesture for a number of reasons, the first being that Jeonghan usually takes his days off by lazing around in bed, clinging to Joshua and whining at the other members to fetch him snacks all day. The second being that Joshua wasn’t going to be coming with them, it was just going to be him, Jeonghan, and the ducks. He wonders to himself why he said yes as he gets dressed for whatever this was.

“Does this look okay?” he asks hesitantly, looking in the mirror as Soonyoung and Wonwoo cuddle on his bed behind him.

“It’s fine,” Soonyoung sighs, “why are you so riled up? You’re just going on a walk with Jeonghan hyung, you guys are inseparable as it is. What makes this so different?”

“We’re not inseparable,” Seokmin huffs, toying with the hem of his jumper, “he and Joshua hyung are inseparable, don’t you think it’s a bit weird that it’s going to be just us two today?”

Wonwoo snorts, looking over his glasses to give Seokmin a lopsided grin, “have you really never noticed that you’re with them just as much as they are together? You might as well be the three musketeers.”

Seokmin taps his lips, he had never really given much thought to it but Wonwoo was right. He had a tendency to follow the two older boys around like a puppy, and they seemed to enjoy bringing him along. His heart flutters at the realization, and he tries his hardest not to think too much about what all of this could mean.

Soonyoung stares at him, furrows his brows and does his best to analyze his best friend, and Seokmin can feel his eyes digging into him like nails. He wants to tell him to stop, to make a joke so the heaviness in the room will dissipate, but he has a feeling that it’s no use now.

“You like him?” Soonyoung says, his voice barely audible, and Seokmin can’t tell if it’s because he’s whispering or if he’s just so taken aback by the question his mind leaves his body.

“I think so,” he sighs, finally admitting to the thing that has been tearing away at his insides for months, maybe years.

“But, Shua…” Wonwoo trails off, looking concerned.

Seokmin nods quickly, “yeah, I know, it’s all very confusing. Would it be crazy for me to say I think I have feelings for him too-”

“Too much,” Soonyoung groans, “you’re in too deep, dude. Maybe this date isn’t a good idea.”

“It’s not a date,” Seokmin whines, “and I can’t just cancel, you know how hyung is. He won’t talk to me for weeks.”

“You know,” Wonwoo starts, his expression blank, “this might not be as bad as it seems.”

“Won, he has a crush on two people, and those two people are in a committed relationship, I think it’s pretty bad.”

Wonwoo just smiles, and Seokmin thinks he can physically see his wise soul twinkling behind his eyes, “I don’t know, it could be good.”

 

The crisp air tickles the bare skin of his arms, and Seokmin is reminded of how close they are to entering Fall. He wishes Summer could stick around forever, and he tries to convince himself that it’s not because he isn’t ready to see Jeonghan and Joshua bundled up in scarves, noses and cheeks flushed with the cold, snowflakes falling in their hair. He tries but doesn’t succeed because he finds the image of them inside his head to be the most beautiful piece of art he’s ever seen.

“What are you thinking about?” Jeonghan asks, snapping him out of his daydream. His voice is casual, almost like he isn’t completely interested, but Seokmin knows he is.

“Winter,” he admits, looking over to smile at the other man, “it feels like it’s coming sooner this year.”

Jeonghan just nods, humming in agreeance. Seokmin can see the slight goosebumps forming under the fine hair of his arms, and he curses himself for not bringing a cardigan to drape around the older boy.

“You’re cold,” he frowns, looking at Jeonghan with concern as he points out the goosebumps on his arms, “should we head back?”

“Not cold,” Jeonghan lets out a shaky breath, “if I’m being completely honest, I’m just nervous.”

Seokmin’s frown deepens, and suddenly it occurs to him that Jeonghan might have figured him out. Joshua probably knew too, and now Jeonghan was taking him on a walk to let him down easy, and suddenly he wished he had listened to Soonyoung when he begged him to stay.

“Why are you nervous,” he finally asks, trying to keep his voice steady.

Jeonghan just shrugs, and his cheeks hint at a blush, “I’m always nervous on dates, I guess.”

This makes Seokmin stop in his tracks, staring at Jeonghan with his mouth gaping.

Jeonghan just tilts his head, furrowing his eyebrows in a way that is far too cute and quite honestly detrimental to Seokmin’s health. He looks confused, and Seokmin wants to complain that he should be the one staring at him in confusion, not the other way around.

“You do realize this is a date, right?” Jeonghan asks, stepping towards Seokmin carefully.

“Joshua-” he whispers, not able to get anything else out.

Jeonghan just nods, further confusing Seokmin, and at this point he just wants to turn around and run back to the dorms, forget any of this has ever happened, but his feet are glued to the pavement.

“He knows,” Jeonghan says carefully, biting his lip as if holding something bad, “he was going to come too, we just weren’t sure if it was too soon.”

Seokmin closes his eyes, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “so you two… broke up? Is it because of me?” he asks, and he feels silly because _of course_ they wouldn’t break up because of him. He nearly considers correcting himself, but Jeonghan starts laughing before he can.

“We’re still together,” he says, as if it’s the most casual thing in the world, “and very much in love,” and now Seokmin can see the hesitation in his eyes, and in a twisted way, he is relieved that he’s not the only one feeling so desperately unsure in this situation.

“I should’ve explained before you accepted,” Jeonghan sighs, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes, “I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how to do this, Joshua and I spent so many hours on the internet researching and we’re still clueless but-”

“Do what?” Seokmin nearly whines, and he can feel his patience wearing thin, “you’re being really fucking vague, and to be honest, I’m feeling very scared for my feelings right now,” he grits through clenched teeth, and comes to the realization that at some point he’s started crying, making the whole situation that much more infuriating.

“Oh no,” Jeonghan cooes, rushing forward to bring a soft hand to his cheek, wiping away his tears, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Fuck, Joshua is going to kill me, he really wanted to be here, he said he’d be more straightforward but I thought you’d need a more sensitive approach and I’m just messing it all up aren’t I?”

Seokmin leans into his touch, unable to separate from the gentle hand pressed against his tear stained skin, no matter how heated he’s feeling.

“Please,” he whispers, voice raspy, “please just explain what’s going on, because I have feelings for both of you that I don’t completely understand, and this is making it so much worse.”

Jeonghan nods quickly, pulling Seokmin in for a hug, his fingers tracing shapes on his back and it’s the most comforting feeling he’s ever experienced, and he never wants it to end.

“Joshua and I like you,” Jeonghan says carefully, his chin resting on Seokmin’s shoulder, “and we want to try something out, like, with the three of us, you know?”

Seokmin pulls back, holding Jeonghan by the shoulders as he gives him a serious look, “like a threesome? Because honestly hyung I don’t think I can just do that-”

“No, no,” Jeonghan laughs lightly, “maybe someday, I don’t know, but no. I mean, like, dating? The three of us, we all date each other. Joshua said it’s called polyamory, we’ve been doing a lot of research and we’ve mutually decided we’d like to date you.”

Seokmin nods, and he knows he’s looking at Jeonghan, and he knows he’s still standing in the same spot, but his head feels like it’s floating off his body. It’s a lot to handle, he tries to reason, considering he’s just found out that both of the men he’s been pining over have the same feelings for him, and furthermore, they _both_ want to date him. Only an hour before he was trying to convince himself to just move on, find someone else, and now he had this opportunity in front of him, and the answer seems so glaringly obvious, and yet,

“I need to think about it.”

 

“ _Polyamorous relationships_ ,” Seungkwan reads off of Seokmin’s computer screen, craning his neck over his shoulder to sneak a peek at what the older boy has been studying for the last three days.

“Go away,” Seokmin groans, swatting at Seungkwan’s chin as it rests on his shoulder, and he can’t help but be reminded that Jeonghan’s was there only a few days ago.

“I don’t think we’d be able to do it,” Seungkwan says, and thankfully he stands up, only to flop himself onto Seokmin’s bed, “Hansol is so needy, he’d get jealous so quickly.”

Seokmin rolls his eyes, spinning around on his desk chair to look at Seungkwan, “you’re just as needy, both of you would be shit at it.”

“And you?” Seungkwan asks, fiddling with his bracelet.

Seokmin sighs, frowning a bit, because he doesn’t know the answer just yet.

He hates to keep them waiting, he really does, and more than anything he misses being around them, but he isn’t ready yet, and he’s afraid that he’ll never be.

He has a mental note of pros and cons stuck to his brain, and he runs through them often. _Pros: you like them both, they like you, they make you feel unbelievably happy, they’re nice to look at, it’s a new adventure and you love new things. Cons: you have no idea what you’re doing, they have no idea what they’re doing, you might already be in too deep and the thought of your heart being broken feels like a million knives repeatedly stabbing you, yeah you like risks, but is this one worth it? He thinks it might be, but the only way to find out is by taking the scariest leap of faith he’s ever encountered._

“I don’t know,” he finally sighs, burying his face in his hands so he doesn’t have to look at the pitying look Seungkwan is surely giving him.

“I think you need to talk to them,” Seungkwan says simply, and Seokmin can hear him standing from his bed, “because right now, you’re just sulking, and overthinking, and probably coming up with a million reasons why this isn’t going to work out.”

“Do you think it would work out?” Seokmin asks quietly, his voice further muffled by his hands.

“I think it could, and I think it couldn’t, but I think not trying at all is going to hurt you worse than anything, but I think you already know that,” Seungkwan pats his back softly, and leaves the room without a second word. Seokmin wishes that his friends were just a little less cryptic.

 

“I thought you were already together,” Jihoon says, looking at Seokmin with a confused expression, “you three act like the sunshine comes out of each other’s asses, I thought it was just an unsaid thing.”

Seokmin blanches at this, he’s sitting on the desk in the recording studio, trying his hardest not to sulk and instead receive valuable advice from someone who he respects, but it’s really hard when Jihoon is so blunt.

“Well, we aren’t,” he pouts, “I wouldn’t be asking you for advice if we were, hyung.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes, “duh, I see that now. I’m just saying, before you stormed into my studio to complain about your love life while I was trying to perfect our next title track, I just assumed the three of you had something going on,” he shrugs.

“Well, what do I do?” Seokmin asks, crossing his arms in frustration.

Jihoon stares at him, tapping a pen on his bottom lip in thought, then he points the pen at him with a steady hand and says, “go get me something to drink.”

“What the fuck, Jihoon,” Seokmin whines, “why did I even come to you?”

“Hey, watch the language,” Jihoon warns, but his threat is empty, “look, kid, I’m bad at relationships, okay? I don’t really know what to say.”

Seokmin rolls his eyes, suddenly realizing that he definitely picked the wrong person to come to. He had promised himself just _one more day_ , right before they left for world tour, he’d give himself one more day to figure stuff out. The things Seungkwan had said had helped a lot, but he needed the opinion of someone less idealistic, and he figured Jihoon would be the best option, and he’s regretting the decision deeply.

“You like them, right?” Jihoon finally sighs, dropping the pen on the table.

“Yeah, of course,” Seokmin says quickly, “too much, I like them too much. That’s why I’m scared.”

“If you really didn’t think this was a good idea, you wouldn’t even be considering saying yes,” Jihoon says simply, “you wouldn’t even play with the idea, it would hurt you too much. You would have immediately declined, and tried your hardest to move on. I think that speaks for itself.”

Seokmin hums, he hadn’t even considered that. He was someone who typically made decisions fairly easily, acting on impulse more than anything, which was why he had a closet full of untouched clothing he bought on a whim. He knew from the beginning that he wanted to say yes, but the aching fear of the unknown inside of him held him back.

“So I should say yes then?” he asks carefully, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not telling you to do anything,” Jihoon snorts, “this isn’t my relationship, and I don’t want to be the reason the three of you end up heartbroken. I’m just saying, what was your initial instinct, because more often than not, that’s the decision you should go with.”

 

He paces outside the door of Jeonghan and Joshua’s hotel room, and he knows that it’s probably a bad time for him to be there. It’s 2AM and they’re on their first stop of tour, but Seokmin has been thinking about what Seungkwan and Jihoon said to him for three days, and he can’t continue living on the edge.

He finally knocks on the door, and it’s opened too quickly, leaving him confused and quite frankly, unprepared.

“I heard you pacing,” Joshua admits, a nervous smile on his face, “I didn’t want to bother you, I was hoping you’d knock at some point.”

Seokmin just nods, welcoming himself into their room without a single word. He can feel both their eyes on him as they stand in front of him, holding each other in the most loving way possible, and it makes Seokmin’s heart flutter so much that it physically hurts.

“I have some thoughts,” he finally says, and they both nod eagerly.

“I did some research, lots of research, and then I realized none of that really matters, because they’re not us, are they?” he frowns, “and I kept thinking to myself, fuck, I wish there was an instruction manual to this, because I have no idea what I’m doing, and I know that neither of you do either.”

He looks at both of them carefully before sucking in another breath, “but I can’t shake the feelings I have for both of you, and I can’t stop thinking about the what ifs, the good and the bad ones, and I think I’m finally realizing I want this. I want it all. The messy and confused, the lost and the found, I’m ready to fall all the way in if you are. Is that too intense, probably I don’t know I had a much cooler speech planned but-”

“Seokmin,” Jeonghan says, and his smile is wider than it has ever been, “shut up, and come here.”

And suddenly he feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off his chest, and his legs are moving on their own as he stumbles towards the two men, wrapping his arms around them. The embrace feels different from all the others they’ve shared, it feels like he’s finally come home.

He’s painfully aware that this isn’t going to be easy, and that they aren’t going to figure everything out overnight, but even more so, he’s aware that he is willing to risk everything to try.


End file.
